As a yoga instructor, I am constantly, consistently, and religiously reminding my students to breathe. I boast about how form is of the utmost importance and guarantee with a genuine smile and open arms that after one month with me, they will be so in tune with their bodies that their minds will believe they were always one entity instead of two. 

     As a mother, I am continuously begging my children to behave or a certain number of any set consequences that have been previously implemented will be once again enforced. At this, they sit very still for two point eight seconds before one glances over at the other, knowing they can both simulaneously run circles around me, should they feel so inclined. 

     As a human being, a friend, and a lover, I am expecting my own self to breathe correctly but not so often that I am interfering with someone else's air space. My form- the way I have shaped and reshaped my life- has taken a toll on the very mold and restraints I had put in place according to my expectations of the self I thought I was on my way to becoming. My behavior is conditional to my environment and because I feel detached from so many other past lives, I am ever-changing. 

     I broke the pattern; the sequential and chronological order that had catalogued my experiences is now in disarray. I am doing things I never thought I would do, and they do not seem to be out of the ordinary. 

     You make it easy. 

     You make it hard. 

     But we make an effort. 

     In an attempt to understand how you would want to be with someone like me, you've convinced me that someone like me is not the solution, but I- in fact- am. Someone like me would suffice, but it's actually me that you need. I wait for the day when you will wake up and realize that this was all just a big mistake on your part and ohimsosorrybutihavetogohayley, while you wait for the day when you will prove me wrong. 

     Who will give out first? Do I have to let go to see that your truth has been waiting to have a talk with my fear? And what would they say to each other? 

     Just. Hold. On. 

     You have shown me a side of myself I didn't know existed, because it is a mirror image of you. I had to discover loss, hurt, pain, and lonliness to be able to identify this raw feeling that presented itself in the form of: You. Because of you, I now know me and losing myself again is not an option. 

     As your other half, I need to slow down when you speed up, just to keep the balance. As your best friend, I need to tell you you're right even if you're wrong in front of others, but alone I will reveal your mistake, thus never making it a weakness in public. As your lover, I will form a barrier around your convictions so that you always feel safe, while ensuring that we will always hear the other's voice reverberating through. I am protecting you from everything at all times, even if that means that sometimes I have created my own hell by shielding myself out. As a wife, I need to learn that the mind and body are really one entity; you can't have one functioning soundly without the other. You can't give up because you don't want to give in.  As your wife, I want to learn that most things are forgiveable, especially when you start with yourself. You have taught me that I am valuable, and that I don't always have to be my own teacher to learn a lesson on my own. 

     As a yoga instructor, I have begun to see that all of these different roles have allowed me to morph into different poses and phases of my life. This one, though, is by far my favorite and it has become the most permanent. It is the one I have been building the endurance to maintain and now I have the opportunity to demonstrate my skills in the most important audition of my life. 

     You gave me a rope and instead of hanging all of my sadness on it, I swung across a river of tears to prove to you that your teachings were not in vain. 

     Thank you for allowing me to be your student, among everything else.